Today's Mood 4/19/2008

Anger and rage. The urge to bludgeon and stab in a blind rage until there is nothing at my feet but a bloody pulp of flesh. Call it a PTSD flashback reaction. I feel like a victim again. I feel like I have no voice. I am afraid of anyone who yells at me, or abuses me, even if it is in the online metaverse. I cannot get past it. And it makes me lash out all around me at the innocent. And in order to protect the innocent, I will turn it inward on myself, and slash myself until I bleed. It is the only way to stop myself from hurting someone else.